Justin Bieber addressed fans directly in a rambling Instagram post, thanking them for sticking with him on “this journey” and offering a pseudo-explanation for his decision to cancel his Purpose World Tour in July.

“Learning and growing hasn’t always been easy but knowing [I’m] not alone has kept me going,” he wrote. “I have let my insecurities get the best of me at times, I let my broken relationships dictate the way I acted toward people and the way I treated them! I let bitterness, jealousy and fear run my life! I am extremely blessed to have people in the past few years help me build my character back up reminding me of who I am and who I want to be!”.

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on Aug 2, 2017 at 4:52pm PDT

Bieber has had a rough few weeks since he abruptly called off the remaining 15 shows in his tour in late July. Since then, he was banned from China indefinitely due to his “bad behavior” and made headlines after he hit a paparazzo with his pickup truck days later.

Still, the pop star seemed to be looking forward in the note as he reflected upon his turbulent last few years.

“[I’m] VERY aware I’m never gonna be perfect, and I’m gonna keep making mistakes but what I’m not gonna do is let my past dictate my future … what I’m not gonna do is be ashamed of my mistakes,” he wrote. “I want my career to be sustainable, but I also want my mind heart and soul to be sustainable,” he wrote. “So that I can be the man I want to be, the husband I eventually want to be and the father I want to be.”

Though many of Bieber’s fans were disappointed by the truncated tour, the singer was lauded by other musicians for his decision to call it quits on his world tour for personal reasons.

“When someone pulls remaining dates of a tour, it means they would have done real damage to themselves if they kept going,” John Mayer tweeted as part of his dabbling in social media life coaching. “We’ve lost so many great artists lately. I give Justin [two thumbs up] for realizing it was time to call it. You should too.”

Bieber’s summer hit “Despacito,” with Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee, is currently the Number One song in America.